I am dying a slow death thanks to perfectionism.
Okay, dramatic. Obviously I’m fine. But could I be happier? Maybe. Could I let more things go? Probably. Perfectionism is something that I will always struggle with- even after I post this declaration of flaws. It’s a common trait amongst firstborns, Capricorns, and procrastinators. Um hello, hi, this is me. (Also please realize I’m generalizing and everyone is different.)
But also you know who you are and you know I'm right... :)
For example, I have been trying to post a quickie little video we recorded of our kitchen demo. No biggie- should be pretty simple! It's gone something like this:
I have the clips… but now I want to add music… is this song too literal? I want something fun, but with lyrics, not instrumental. Add title. Kern kern. This song seems too deep- like whoa we're not that profound. It this too cutesy? Trim clips. Shoot, why did I think I could make this in a night? Google how to tilt composition. How do you make the words animate again... was that iMovie? No, I felt more comfortable in After Effects... I should stick with Premiere Pro though. Google how to animate text. Has it really been eight years since that college class when we made the stop motion animation?!
OH MY GOD FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS.
Still not done. #facepalm #facepalm #facepalm
So here begins my rant on why this specific trait is slowly killing me. Or at least putting a major damper on my days.
I personally ruined a good majority of a day during Memorial Weekend. I got all anxious thanks to a powerful combination of self-doubt, confidence issues, and good ole perfectionism. We did a ton of work on the house, yard, and even made some fun impulsive purchases! But all of a sudden it washed over me like this big angry disapproving cloud of disappointment. It wasn't enough. We're moving too slow. We should not make impulsive purchases. Others are negatively judging our choices.
Don’t get me wrong, I do love that I am detail oriented, picky, and an advocate for consistency. I believe those are good things to stand for. And I do believe in not half-assing stuff. Dustin and I talk about that with house projects all the time. But to what extent? I read an article from another blogger I follow on her discovery of this horrible curse- and why it's bad. You should read it here.
Everyone knows quality over quantity- yes? Most people can agree that's usually a good thing. Better to have one great thing than a bunch of mediocre things. But does that still fly with blogging? Is it still the case with personal projects you want to accomplish? Or is this the wrong analogy?
I probably run across a blog article, at least once a week, that has a big fat grammatical error in it. Mine probably do too. Does that suddenly diminish it's content, deem the author unintelligent and unworthy? No! At least I don't think so. It was a mistake. Yeah, not the most professional, but I wouldn't categorize blog posts and resumes in the same group. I notice the error and keep reading. I actually learned in a workshop that you should include minor errors in work emails as to appear human... like... not a bot. What a weird world we live in now?!?! But anyway, I digress.
I guess what I'm getting at is I feel that I would personally be happier if I put more out there- accomplished more projects, versus agonizing over when they are "done" and perfect. What filter and composition work best on my insta feed (UGH-why?!). Because here's the kicker- I rarely ever feel that way, and then nothing is ever done!! Hence why perfectionism is directly correlated to procrastination. It's crippling. And that is what the article above focuses on. "The root [of procrastination] essentially being perfectionism and putting off participating in life if you feel that you can't do it perfectly."
Perfectionists and procrastinators, we are putting off our life because we (consciously or not) feel that we cannot do it perfectly. I cannot finish this video. I cannot decide on these cabinets. I have not posted our wedding photos, have not finished any vacation photo books. I mean it's maddening to think of the amount of time I've put into projects and not finished them. Starting to feel a bit more like a personal problem, but I know there are others out there!
I wouldn't wish this on anyone, and I'm trying to be better. Let things go. Just buy the dang light fixtures. Finish projects- just get them done. I'll be happier to look back on them. Because I'm keeping myself from other fun opportunities by not finishing current ones. And watching them pile up is killer.
Don't procrastinate your life away due to perfectionism! If you have any tips- do share. :)
